Mother's instinct

Hunter and I enjoyed a quiet weekend at home this weekend, and "Cold Mountain" was playing on TV.  Not the sort of movie we're always up for, but it was cold and windy and we were ready for some boob toob time.  You know the scene with Natalie Portman, where she has a sick baby, and Union soldiers come and tie her up outside and lay the baby unwrapped out in the open cold?  In the past, I've found that scene disturbing, for sure, but this time?  Sick to my stomach.  I couldn't watch it, I actually had to go out in the kitchen and cover my ears, and I still felt sick.  It was incredible, how powerfully it affected me.  The power of a mother's instinct is amazing, isn't it? 

Hiatus

I'm back!  Whew!  Started a few too many things there, and this here blog got the backseat.  I have renewed goals for my days here at home, and among those, is write for 15 minutes a day.  I can do that, right?  Pardon me while a few posts in the next few days are not very polished, but published. 

I started a business selling childrens teepees, and it's been interesting!  I'm grateful for the first few orders I got right at the beginning; they spurred me on and made me excited, and got me through a dry spell of sales while I learned a few things.  The internet is an amazing thing, and I'm grateful for ETSY and the amazing marketplace it is.  I have a new goal to support other sellers on ETSY and hope to highlight some favorites on here. 

Being "in sales" has been eye opening.  A few things I've learned:

1) Don't get your hopes up on a sale until the money is in your hand!

2) You can't get bogged down with ideas; you have to execute!  Cut! Sew! Post pictures!  Ideas won't get you sales; product will. 

3) It helps to be around creative people once in a while to keep your motivation fresh.  My parents were here for 5 days and I have a million different ideas floating around that I'm excited to hopefully produce.  See number 3.  They were great, though- they ENJOY problem solving and tossing around ideas to make new ones.  Hunter is not a creative visionary, and although supportive, discussing "ideas" is about as exciting to him and talking out the merits of, say, the hemline of one shirt vs. another in a department store.  Not exciting.  Not motivating.

4) Figuring out shipping when working through something like ETSY is essential.  I had a bit of a learning curve that ate sharply into my profits with my first few sales.  Fun fact: UPS would have charged $100 to pack and ship a teepee. ..... !!!!!...........!!!!!!!!.....   My dad made me the most beautiful shipping boxes ever (forever grateful) -and yes shipping boxes can be beautiful- and hopefully I can now make them myself and not look back.

5) You never realize how much you need to invest to keep up with yourself.  I was impatient there for awhile, wanting to see my profits grow while spending everything I made to fulfil new orders.  Learning, learning, learning! 

I'm so thrilled at the idea of these teepees being across the country, hopefully bringing joy to lots of kids!  Here in Wyoming, Oregon, Louisiana,  Iowa, Michigan..... what an awesome thing. 

Strength in numbers

Strength in numbers: The beauty of the buddy system while shopping with babies and toddlers. 

Recently, my friend Sarah of http://dearyoungmother.blogspot.com and I met to do some grocery/target shopping.  Hunter and I were in town with Archer that morning, so I said Archer and I would be up for a "tagalong" trip- we didn't need to buy anything, really, but I was due for some girl chat and catching up, no matter where we were!  As usual, Sarah and I exhausted ourselves running our mouths at full speed, jumping from topic to topic while chasing her lamb up and down the aisles and I paused to make funny faces and hand Archer new toys to play with in his carseat.  We perused baby aisles which launched many discussions, but had way more fun clothes shopping! 

I'm not really a "mall person."  I only go there a few times a year, including during the christmas season.  However, Sarah likes Target, specifically, so there we were.  Together, we branched out, and decided that although we felt too old to shop at Vanity, and Maurices, and Forever 21, we were having a youthful affect on each other and we could brave these places together.  And boy, did we ever.  Lamb had a delightful time carrying around sequined shoes and dumping the sunglasses display all over the floor, while we crouched down to try on shirts without going into the dressing room.   We deluded ourselves thinking the clerks weren't completely annoyed with us, although if they were, we really couldn't tell!

Thirsty and hungry, we sought out Subway for lunch.  I ordered, than guarded our 2 booths (one for our stuff, one for ourselves) while Sarah ordered.  And that's when Archer decided he was done.  He was hungry, and he was hungry now. He does this gutteral/screachy thing at a very peircing octave when he gets mad, and oh my word, the look the subway lady shot me said "take your baby out of here and DIE."  Red-faced, I jokingly acknowleged our racket to the small crowd; "sorry guys" I said, sheepishly.  Thankfully, Sarah caught the look I had received, and laughed over her shoulder at me, which was a comfort.  So instead of wanting to find the nearest booth to crawl under, I laughed as well, finding the humor of our LIFE WITH BABIES AND TODDLERS chaos.  I headed out into the mall to find a good place to nurse, and when I saw the Christopher and Banks store, figured that was a good option.  I was totally right- a nice grandmotherly type kindly allowed me to nurse in peace in the dressing room- the store was completely empty and it was perfect.  Revived, we hit a couple more stores and ended our day in peace. 

Babies are busy.   And this is so much fun!  I'm super grateful at the end of days like that to have a mom-friend nearby to buddy up with.  These are the kinds of "new normal" days that I want to remember later on, and the small moments I like to chronicle on this blog.  Maybe next time I see a mom doing this balancing act on her own I can throw her that smile or laugh with her instead of shooting off a nasty look, and she'll go home laughing instead of stressed out herself.  The value of the buddy system- priceless!  

Guilt

 All moms have some silly guilt over something. I've found my guilt.  I feel guilty that I love my life so much right now.  I feel guilty towards Hunter, more specifically- that he has to go to work and be away from Archer, which he hates, and I don't.  We've always planned to structure our life this way.  I was MADE to be a stay-at-home mom; I love it.  Hunter is not made for it and doesn't want my daily life, necessarily, but he does wish he could just be home more.  He works long hard days, and sometimes that means just a quick half hour in the morning and at night with our little man.  It kills him! 

But me?  Oh, I have it so good.  I work long hard days too, but they involve lots of interaction with our sweet baby.  My days involve snuggles to go to bed, improptu baths after that prune snack does its job, and lots of babble and smiles back and forth.  I smile more in a day now than i can ever remember.  I rarely have uninterrupted time, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love to watch Archer grow and change; I love to see and interpret his changing moods throughout the day. 

I love my life.  I love my baby and husband.  I am a blessed woman!!!

Everyday errands

Running errands just became a lot more fun!

Choose your weapon

All is quiet on the homefront, meaning the baby is asleep, so it's time for our first installment of *duh duh dum*

CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON

Today on choose your weapon,  our weapon of choice is this

My mission: To get as much done with those tools in 20 minutes as possible. 

The starting point? The bathroom.  The loose toilet seat, to be precise.  You're welcome for the lack of picture.  And, yes, this was a fail, so all I did was learn I needed different tools.  But the gaining of knowlege can be it's own kind of success.  Anyway, I thought I was going to tighten the screws on the toilet seat, and after some confusion (why does it keep turning and turning? Where's the other end of this screw?) I learned that the plastic... wingbolt!..... is cracked so that's that.  The other side lacks a wingbolt altogether.  So we'll keep on slip sliding around on that joy ride!  Hunter, I see you shaking your head.  Thanks for loving me even though I can be a bit slow sometimes.... It's ok!  I'm a limo driver!

The clock is still ticking!  I moved on to Archer's bedroom.  Last week, when I would ease the door shut, it would shift at a certain point, and make a loud thud, juuuuust as I was sneaking out quietly after putting him down at night or naptime.  Any mother knows that's a recipe for disaster, so I made a note to fix that loose hinge right away.  So this afternoon I eased open the door, tools in hand, and tested the door.  Nothing.  I tested all the screws.  Nothing loose.   ............?............  I eased the door closed.  Guess that one fixed itself.  *scratches head, shrugs, moves on*

The guest room doorknob is our next test subject.  This has had a loud, grating SQUEAK in it since forever, maybe since we moved in 7 years ago.  This room has been the main guest room for years, and I bet my in-laws will be happy to have this handle fixed.  I know it has made them cringe as they get up in the middle of the night and try their best to be quiet little bunnies.  I unscrewed the doorknob, went and retrieved my special can of WD-40 that I try to keep in my own cubby in the laundry room (it has been borrowed by Hunter a couple of times, but to his credit has remained in the house instead of landing in the barn) and squirted up the inside of the doorknob.

Simple.  Done.  Gave 'er some twists and screwed it back together.  And, when I was almost done, the timer went off.  By now my brain was jumping ahead to what else I'd like to accomplish so I put my tools away and called it good. 

All in all, I'm calling it a success.  That squeaky door has driven me nuts, too, since it's right by Archer's room and holds his room's heater controls. 

I believe in doing this kind of stuff myself, if I can.  Yes, I could nag Hunter on evenings and weekends to do it.  He HATES projects like this, but he'll do them on the right day.   But they're easy enough, so on the other hand, if they're so easy, why don't I do it?  Good question.  20 minutes at a time, I bet I can. 

Blue 32

I'm turning 32 today.  In my head, I keep hearing (football style) "Blue! 32! Hut!"  Do you hear it?  No?  Just me?  I got those same looks at the dinner table when I told Hunter that'd been going through my head, too.  Ah, well. 

So, a birthday.  How do I feel?  Honestly, I feel like this is going to be a really great year.  I'm not one to have age crises...crisis'....?  Because Archer changes so much from day to day, everything is always new.  It will be neat to take him out for lots of "firsts" this year as a family, and I'm looking forward to taking him fishing and hunting this summer and fall now that he's sturdier and better able to handle all those new environments. 

I'm in a really good place in my life.  Happily married.  Happy kid.  Happy home life.  Awesome friends nearby, hobbies that fulfil me, good health.  Seriously, there is so little drama in our life it's ridiculous.  We're so blessed.  I feel like I should be ashamed of my joy, or like I should downplay how happy we are or make some apologies for sounding like I have a perfect life, but why?  Why SHOULDN'T I be proud of the life we've built?  Why can't I embrace this great time in our lives, and acknowlege it for what it is? 

  I'm glad I had the five years at my government cubicle job so that I appreciate being out of that cubicle.  I was good at what I did, but it was a huge downer to go to my office everyday.  I gained a lot of insights about human nature, though, and it feels good to know that I can get, and keep, a good job like that.  That may sound so basic but every day I met people who could not for the life of them achieve something that is so necessary for everyday survival.  Just to keep a job.  To show up day after day, and get along with people.  I digress.  *squirrel!*  My point is, I'm glad I had the years I did in the work force to gain credibility and professional skills.  I hope I am able to find opportunities during these years at home to maintain those skills and stay relevant in the professional world.  I hope I'm open to opportunities while maintaining my immediate focus at this time, which is to raise and nurture our son, and keep a nice home for my husband to come home to every night.

There are days now where I could get tired of that constant task of "keeping a house": days where I get tired of going up and down the stairs for diaper changes and laundry delivery and the millionth toy pick up.  But every time I turn around I see something to smile about.  The cute baby babbling on the floor.  The dogs running out the door on deer patrol.  The horses lounging in the sun on a rare warm day.  The cats trying to sneak up on a bird outside.  I hope I remember to sock those memories away, and realize this time is precious.  I hope I am purposeful in making this coming year of my life the best one yet.

Happy Birthday, me!